Merry Christmas!

Sure, it's Christmas, Jesus's birthday and all that but let's not forget that it was also the great Bogey's birthday. Happy Birthday Bogart!

“I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.”

Women in Handmade Beards - Strangely Hot?

Yes, I'd say so.

As far as I can tell, this young lady is selling these homemade hirsute crafts on Etsy. I smell a last minute gift for the woman in your life.

Behave at Your Office Christmas Party

Slate has some pretty great photos of office Christmas parties of the past. For once in my life, I'm going to advise moderation. Go easy on the egg nog and keep your hands to yourself. You have to be able to look your co-workers in the eye at the photocopier on Monday. These rules, of course, don't apply to the uber-hot receptionist or intern - they're fair game.

My New Hat!

Given the recent economic downturn, the public has been inundated with pictures from the Great Depression. Those downtrodden gents in the soup line may have been penniless but they sure looked sharp in their topcoats, suit, and hats. Now that we're on the precipice of our own financial armageddon I expect hats to make a big comeback and I want to be on the forefront. The only rule is that it has to be a real man's hat: no ball caps, no Justin Timberlake-esque micro-fedoras, or urban sombreros. A tip o' the hat to my fellow bachelors.

Gifts for the Bachelor (but not this bachelor)

Esquire magazine has a pretty lame gift guide for the perpetual bachelor here. Electric razors? Meat? Vacuums? Man bags? Lonesome Dove? Who the fuck are they kidding?

The mainstream media really doesn't know us at all, do they?

Well, This Bachelor has some ideas:

Friends don't let Friends wear Uggs

Don't ever EVER do this!

... And look at this otherwise attractive young women ruined by calfskin. If this woman came up to me asked if I would like join her in her hottub for whiskey and corndogs I would have to politely refuse.

This Bachelor's First Date Idea #1

The Gun Range

Seriously, everybody loves guns, just be careful what you say and where you put your hands. Don't be fresh when your lady's packing...

Bachelor Christmas Tree

It is a thing of beauty.

One of my favourite Christmas jokes:

Q: What's the ultimate stocking stuffer?

A: A severed foot.

Monocles: Time for a Comeback?

I should say so, old bean!

A Truly Elegant Pen for under $10

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.” - Marty Feldman

The Uniball Vision Elite

"I bought a $7 pen because I alway lose pens and I got sick of not caring." - Mitch Hedberg

The Incomparable Mr. Mel Torme