Merry Christmas!

Sure, it's Christmas, Jesus's birthday and all that but let's not forget that it was also the great Bogey's birthday. Happy Birthday Bogart!

“I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.”

Behave at Your Office Christmas Party

Slate has some pretty great photos of office Christmas parties of the past. For once in my life, I'm going to advise moderation. Go easy on the egg nog and keep your hands to yourself. You have to be able to look your co-workers in the eye at the photocopier on Monday. These rules, of course, don't apply to the uber-hot receptionist or intern - they're fair game.

Gifts for the Bachelor (but not this bachelor)

Esquire magazine has a pretty lame gift guide for the perpetual bachelor here. Electric razors? Meat? Vacuums? Man bags? Lonesome Dove? Who the fuck are they kidding?

The mainstream media really doesn't know us at all, do they?

Well, This Bachelor has some ideas:

Bachelor Christmas Tree

It is a thing of beauty.

One of my favourite Christmas jokes:

Q: What's the ultimate stocking stuffer?

A: A severed foot.